Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Goth Night

So on Saturday I went to a place called The Underground. It is a bi-weekly goth night at a place called Walker's downtown. I was pretty nervous heading in, but then I am nervous going into most new places. I was nervous though not so much because I was dressed as a woman in a new place, but more because I was dressed in a nice bright blue shirt, tan sandals and a denim skirt in a goth place. I didn't quite fit in with the clothes Megan and Jen where wearing or with what I imagined the people inside would be wearing. Well we went inside and I couldn't really figure out what was happening. There was a dance floor with a bunch of chairs and tables nearby. Beyond this was an area fenced off with black painted 2x4's and chicken wire. The dance floor was vacant, but the wired off area was packed. At first, before I saw the doorway between the two sections, it looked like everyone was imprisoned in a giant chicken coop.
We walked inside and I was eager to order a drink - here is the only bad part of the night. I asked for a vodka special and the woman turned around for about a minute and returned with a tiny little plastic cup with a mostly clear but slightly cloudy-white liquid. It turned out that at The Underground a vodka special is made with warm vodka, warm and flat 'Spritz Up' and in place of lime juice was some unknown ingredient that gave it that cloudy-white look. I honestly didn't know what to do. I didn't want to look like I was criticizing the place, but that drink was not only room temperature and didn't taste right, but it didn't taste good either! I was quite consumed with what strange ingredient might be inside that glass and so I decided I had to just get rid of it. I asked Megan if she knew what bottled drinks, other than beer, they served and she told me that they had Smirnoff Ice. I like those so I went up to order one. I was pretty happy when I saw it on the menu because it was under the title of "Girl Drinks". I was actually buying it because I knew it wouldn't be full of random ingredients, but part of me was pretty proud to be walking back with a girl drink.

Well so there I was with a 3/4 full drink and Megan and Jen were ready to go on the dance floor. Megan explained why there were two sections. The dance floor was open to minors, so the wired off area was to separate alcohol from the kids. So while the two of them went to dance I had to nurse my drink alone in the chicken coop. In order to watch them I moved to a different area, but there were no empty tables, so I just sat at one nearby. There was a guy at that table who amused me a little. He was sort of singing the praises of the goth culture. He was telling me that goth lets a person be free of the limitations that real life places. He mentioned my bright blue shirt and implied that while it looked nice it was too conventional. He said goth allows a person dress how they want, act how they want, do what they want etc because they no longer have to worry about how others think they should dress, act or do. He was trying to convince me that by wearing conventional clothes I was missing out on the freeing aspect that goth gives a person when they shed societal constraints. I listened politely, but I really wanted to say that if he thought wearing black clothes and black lipstick was pressing the limits of society then he should really try putting on a skirt and pink lipstick.

At the end of the night we did not take a cab home, instead we just walked to Jen's house. It was actually a really fun walk. We stopped for a bite to eat, a couple drunk-out-of-their-mind strangers came over and entertained us for a while, a carload of black guys offered to give us a ride, I tripped over a planter, an evergreen, and a crack in the sidewalk, we crossed railroad tracks and fields, we stopped to pee in the bushes, and finally we made it back to Jen's place where my energy slowly faded into a swirly sort of headache.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I had a client in my office yesterday and he was telling me about his son and the boys couple of years "acting out" as he called it when the kid went "Goth".
I thought this was interesting in light of my review of your experience just earlier in the morning. After opening your blog to read the paragraph about "being free to wear whatever, and not to be bound by convention", we both had a laugh about the convention of the "black uniform, white face and black lips".

When I told him you were my first up close encounter with a transgendered individual he seemed mildly interested so I showed him your pictures and he couldn't believe you had a previous life as male.. once we scrolled down the page he finally was satisfied I wasn't B.S. ing. We also both agreed that you have more "balls" to face directly to the challenges that you have met than most men could ever dream of meeting. I guess it is a sign that you were a woman all along, I mean how many men have the guts to go through what it takes to have a baby, only woman are that strong!!!

Thought you appreciate the feedback, and thanks for your great sharing on the "Blog" as it really helps me to get a picture of the challenges you have to face.

best to you , always.