Monday, February 02, 2009

Find the Smell

A few days ago I made a mistake. I didn't even discover my mistake for 3 or 4 days, and when I finally did, I felt sickened by it. It was the kind of mistake that makes me seem airheaded and lazy and slobby all at the same time.

What makes me feel airheaded is that I couldn't even remember what I had bought from the grocery store. When I shop, I just get a few items at a time. I usually only get enough food to last a half a week and I rarely walk out of the store with any more than 2-3 bags of food. A few days ago was no exception, yet I couldn't seem to remember what I had bought.

It normally wouldn't matter if I could remember or not, but in this case it sure did. While I was shopping I remember considering buying some pork chops. I had been craving pork chops a few days earlier, but once they were in my hands I no longer did. I remember assessing my future pork-cravings potential before moving on. When I got home with the groceries I was putting everything away, and I didn't notice any pork chops. I paused over it, but despite that I could remember my internal debate over them, I really couldn't remember what I had decided - so I assumed I just didn't buy them. That was my mistake.

The problem was further complicated because I was lazy. When I was unpacking I put the fridge stuff in the fridge, and the freezer stuff in the freezer. I had cupboard stuff too but I was too lazy to put them in the cupboard. Instead I just dropped the bag onto the floor near the microwave, somewhat near the cupboard - and that is where it stayed for a few days.

A couple days later I came home and smelled an odd smell. It was sort of sweet, yet sour. I sniffed around for a bit, but could not determine the source. I decided that it must be from a neighbouring apartment. Before long I became accustomed to the smell and didn't give it another thought. I often smell things that nobody else can smell (except my sister), so I wasn't too concerned.

The next day when I came home the odd smell was back. It was less sweet, and more sour. Again I tried to find the origin, but it was just too faint to pin it down. I figured it was maybe coming from the dishes in the sink or the garbage underneath. I sniffed them and while it certainly wasn't a good smell, it didn't seem like the same smell. I did the dishes and took out the garbage, and I hoped I had removed the source. Still, despite cleaning the kitchen, I opted not to put that bag of cupboard stuff into the cupboard. Oh I saw it there, but like I said, I'm lazy. So I left it there.

The next day was Saturday, and I was out most of the day. I didn't get home until around 2:30am. I opened the door to discover the smell was still sticking around, and it was worse. It was still far from a stench. If I had to guess, I would say that this was the first day anyone with normal smelling ability could have detected it. Still, for a smell-o-phobe like me, it was a little distressing. Not only was it offensive, but I just couldn't think of what was causing it. It was late though, and I was too tired and too hungry to search for the source again. I just wanted a snack and my bed. I put a couple pizza pops on a plate and stuck them in the microwave.

Being as tired as I was, I didn't stand while I waited for the pizza pops to cook. I knelt next to the counter in front of the microwave such that the bag of cupboard stuff was right at my knees. I realized the smell was stronger in that position. I looked inside the bag and among the cans of tuna and boxes of macaroni was another bag. It was wrapped around itself and around its contents. Without thinking I picked that bag up by the handles so that gravity unwrapped it, then I held it to my nose. It was a good thing I was already kneeling because had I been standing I might have fallen over. That bag contained only 1 item - a package of gray, slimy-looking, rancid pork chops!

It was like opening a Pandora's Box of stink. That bag had done a good job of containing everything, but once I opened it and jostled everything about, my apartment smelled like a slaughterhouse. I quickly ran that bag straight out to the garbage. Even outside in the cold air I could still smell it, like it had attached itself to the insides of my nose.

As I was trying to recover from the olfactory assault I got mad at myself. If I wasn't so airheaded that I couldn't remember what I had bought 15 minutes earlier then I would have looked specifically for the pork chops and put them in the freezer. If I hadn't been so lazy that I couldn't put everything away I would have found them by accident and put them in the freezer. If I hadn't been such a slob that I thought it reasonable that dirty dishes were responsible for the smell, I might have at least searched harder and taken the chops out before they got so completely rotten. It was a good lesson I thought. I learned something over this all.

Of course a couple days later, sitting here at the computer writing this, if I look over at the microwave I will see that the bag of cupboard stuff is still sitting there on the floor below it...

3 comments:

kneeded gain said...

whoot congrats on your new domain.

Sarah J M said...

Thanks. I bought it for myself back in September. If you ever want to buy a domain, get it from Google. They have a lot of nice web-based admin features.

Levin said...

When I'm bored at work I just start reading your posts and I just start cracking up. :)