I've been living as a woman for half a year now, but for some reason buying panties is still pretty frightening. I made sure I had everything else I needed first before I reluctantly, nervously, walked into that section. Wouldn't you know it there was some kid stocking the shelves right where I wanted to be, so I was doubly-nervous. I had done all the rest of my shopping already though, and I wasn't about to lurk nearby for who knows how long until he was gone, so I just decided to just do it. Unlike with men's underwear, women have an amazing amount of choice. I am used to walking to the underwear rack and grabbing the predominant large white boxers and I am done in 3 seconds, but now in just a quick glance I saw that no two pair are alike. I scanned the options: 'panties', 'briefs', 'panty briefs', 'hipster', 'bikini', 'high-cut', 'boy brief'... the list goes on. Even after determining the style there is the color to worry about! Well, with all these options I knew I'd have to seriously think about which kind to get, so despite the stockboy's presence I wandered in for a closer inspection. A few minutes later I was looking at the thongs. To be honest, I don't know why I was contemplating getting a thong. Maybe it is because I have quite fond memories of uncovering them under much different circumstances, but whatever the reason I soon had a package in my hand. I snuck it underneath the other stuff I was buying and took it all up to the counter.
The store seemed kinda busy, yet there was only one cashier working. Luckily there was only one customer in line and she was already paying. How often does that happen? Not only that but I pulled in behind her only to have 5 or 6 people line up behind me within the next few seconds. Lucky me! Well soon it was my turn, and I watched as the cashier scanned each item one by one until she revealed the thongs at the bottom of the pile. I quickly glanced over the facial expressions of everyone nearby and nobody seemed to care. She swooped the thongs across the laser... nothing. She did it again, and again, but no luck. Then she saw that the UPC was torn. She tried to push the tear together and she scanned it a few more times. I felt a little embarrassed at how long this was taking and I looked at the line again. Each person was looking a little impatient and was now watching her scan them over and over again. Great, the last thing I wanted was to have attention on me, let alone attention on my panties! Well then it happened - she picked up the phone and held it to her head. Note I said 'phone' and not 'megaphone'. Had she gone to pick up a megaphone I would have stopped her right there, but little did I know that in the world of Zellers a phone and a megaphone are the same damn thing! Next thing I know I, and every shopper in the entire store, heard "Can I get a code on a 3 pack of ladies' thongs?"
I couldn't believe it! I was so nervous about this to begin with, how is it possible this actually happened? I looked at the line and to my relief nobody was looking at my thongs anymore... but to my horror they were all looking at ME. My mouth turned dry and gaped open as the blood surged into my face. I tried to play unconcerned as I quickly looked at some neutral point on the wall and after a few seconds I started to calm down... then I heard the megaphone say, "...a 3 pack of pink flowery ladies' thongs."
* Last time I was at Zellers I was standing next to this little kid and his mom. The kids says "Are there any other Zellers's we can go to?"
The mom said "Two of these stores is still called Zellers, not Zellers's".
The kid instantly replied with "Oh yeah? So are we in a 'Zeller' right now??"