Sunday, May 14, 2006

Mother's Day Surprise

We took my mom out for supper on Mother's Day this year. We were all sitting around the table eating and I noticed mom's shirt was pulled down a little in front and as a result she was showing some cleavage. Well naturally I had to put a stop to that - after all, she is my mom, so I told her about it. "Mom! I can see the tops of your boobs!" I think I probably sounded more alarmed than I needed to be, but this is my mom we are talking about. There is an unwritten rule that for the comfort of her kids, a mother needs to keep her stuff stowed.

Reflexively Mom readjusted her collar into a more suitable position. I realized I had just made everyone at the table think about my mom's boobs and so I wanted to change the subject quickly. "Is that a new shirt? I've never seen it before."
Mom stayed quiet and Bob said "It's new 20 years ago."
"Is it really 20 years old? Where did you get it?"
Mom replied, "Closet."
"Is it really that old though? I've never seen it before."
"I have lots of clothes you've never seen", she said and she went back to eating her supper.
"So has that been in your closet for 20 years?"
She didn't answer so I looked around the table. All eyes were on mom, but her eyes were on her food. It was like the origin of the shirt was a secret somehow. I was really confused, but at least nobody was thinking about her cleavage anymore, surely everyone was wondering what the big secret was. I know I sure was, so in keeping with my natural nosiness I pressed on, "So where did it come from?"
"Oh, I bought these pants from Sears I think. I got them abou..."
"No mom. I'm asking about the shirt, not the pants! Why don't you want to talk about it?" I glanced at my sister who seemed to be thinking the same thing as me. I said "What's the big secret? She isn't revealing anything."
My sister quickly replied "...except her boobs."

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