Monday, June 13, 2005

Sarah's Shopping Spree

I never thought the day would come where I would enjoy shopping, but it not only came, it spanned three days! This weekend I shopped, slept, did a little shopping, then more sleeping. When I woke up from sleeping I did some online shopping. Don't tell my mom or Joanne, but I put $600 on my credit card this weekend. (I have advice for any future transitioning mtf's out there - change your name early, and get all new credit cards BEFORE you go shopping. I was so relieved that being dressed in women's clothes, buying more women's clothes, that I didn't have to sign 'Andrew' on the credit card slips.)

Despite the poor use of credit cards, I feel really good about all that shopping. I hate doing things that are stereotypically female - I am just paranoid of coming off like that because I think it will make people think I am putting on a show instead of just being me. I couldn't help myself though - shopping turned out to just be an all around good experience. I know women are 'supposed' to like shopping and clothes, but I think I got a lot more out of it than the average woman. It wasn't just shopping, I feel like I really accomplished something - I was investing in my future - I was working towards my goals - I overcame some of my fears. I sound like I am quoting some personal improvement video, but I can't deny that my weekend left me feeling very satisfied for those very reasons. Not only does it feel good to have clothes in my closet, but all that shopping left me feeling in control of my life, left me feeling confident, and best of all left me feeling like I travelled a few more steps up this crazy mountain I am climbing. I guess it sounds like a personal improvement video because I actually feel like all these little trials I go through as I learn to be a woman leave me better than I was. Without a doubt Sarah is the new improved version of Andrew.

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