Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Future Shop Guy and Computer Games

Yesterday I went to Future Shop with a couple guys from work and the guy helping us mentioned World of Warcraft. Well that brought me into the conversation and soon he was talking about a couple of new games and I ended up buying one that he recommended. As we were leaving I was marveling at myself because this is one of the first times in this sort of setting where I was only thinking about the conversation, and not about being transgendered. It feels really good to lose that constant thought. I want to make sure I mention that this is not a new thought. I mean I am sure it might appear to some people that I would only gain this thought when appearing in public as a transsexual, but in truth even when nobody had a clue it was still the first and last thing I thought about. I honestly think the key is facing fears. It sounds cliche but it is true. As I do this more I am less and less concerned with 'passing' and 'stealth', and usually even when completely dressed male I make sure to wear some earrings or makeup because I think I am actually proud of being tg'd. In fact my lifelong fear of being identified as transgendered, the fear that caused me so much stress is actually the key to feeling better because if somebody already knows I am transgendered I have nothing left to be afraid of.

About the game I got... does anyone think there is a hormonal reason why boys are attracted to computer games more than girls? I ask because I know that game would have had me enthralled a couple years ago, but to be honest I got bored of it a few minutes after I started playing it. About the only thing to change is my hormone levels. At least as I spend more money on clothes these days I can look forward to saving money on computer games.

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