Sunday, October 09, 2005

"Interested in what?"

Megan and Jen invited me out last night. We went to the underground again and as we were having our first drink there a guy they know named Alex came and sat with us. Well, after a little while I was feeling like I was getting a little more attention than I was used to. Soon both Megan and Jen had mentioned to me that Alex seemed a little interested. I am a little slow, so I had to ask "interested in what?" I wasn't really surprised by the answer, but yet I was feeling completely lost. I didn't know what to do with this attention. Do I ignore it? Divert it? Accept it? I had no idea, but yet I didn't find myself doing any ignoring or diverting. Well, then suddenly Alex got up. I thought he went to go buy a drink, or better yet buy me a drink, but then I saw him sitting by himself. I felt this void. I mean here I was with someone paying attention to me and suddenly nothing? So before I knew it I found I had gone over and sat with him so he could put his attention back onto me. He did.
Soon though, quicker than I expected, I was feeling like I had more attention than I knew what to do with and so I told him I was transgendered. I don't know if I told him to get rid of him, or to just warn him what he was in for, but after I said it he cocked his head to the side for a couple seconds and sort of looked like I had just hit him with a phone book or something. He let his hang for a moment like he was looking for crumbs on his shirt or something, then looked up at me smiling and said " happens. Doesn't mean you're ugly though. C'mon, let's go dance." So you know what I did? I (eventually) actually got on that dance floor and spent the rest of the night learning to 'rock out'.

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