Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Incorrect Strategies

Written 9/24/2006
I had a date last night.
I said yes to an invitation to rent a movie. It was the third time I OK'd a date with this guy.

The first time I said yes we went for a noodle bowl. It didn't start well. He asked me what I like to do in my spare time. I said, "I think probably my favorite thing to do is to write in my blog." To this he interrupted with, "Oh I HATE blogs!" and then he carried on about what exactly makes blogs bad. Needless to say I wasn't impressed - I mean, I had
just said that blogging was my favorite thing to do. Since then I didn't really talk to him much.

The second time I said yes he had asked me for coffee. I showed up at the appointed time and I ordered a peppermint steamer and I took a seat to wait for him. It's a good thing I had a book with me, because two chapters later my steamer was empty and so was the chair opposite. I just went home after that.

Late last week I said OK again. We were going to rent a movie. I wanted to watch The Grudge, so he brought it over. When he arrived... well... I hoped maybe third time'd be a charm, but it wasn't.

It is too bad he hates blogs. Otherwise he might have noticed that on mine it says that I am afraid of
"smells, and situations with high smell potential". Armed with this knowledge maybe he wouldn't have brought a smell with him... in his armpits. I cannot emphasize how much I hate smells, so in this situation what could I do? Should I sit there and smell BO all night? I mean honestly, what other option is there but to shut up and put up with it? In the end I did what any smell-o-phobe in my situation would do - I sent him to the bathroom with a bar of soap and a washcloth. At the time I felt really bad over it, but now I think it's hilarious. I'm funny that way.

After he cleaned up we decided to play chess. When we started playing I was feeling apprehensive. Somehow the thought of a 'competition', even if it was in a board game was causing me anxiety. When I was a kid I played chess frequently, but even with all that practice I was afraid of looking stupid and losing badly. The game progressed fairly evenly, and I started to enjoy myself. When it ended I actually pulled off a win and I was feeling pretty good. He said he was really surprised that I had won the game, adding that women are not good at that sort of thing. He elaborated to say that young boys play strategy games, and girls play with dolls. To paraphrase, boys learn how to think logically and girls develop social skills. I was thinking this was an awfully outdated view to speak aloud, but even beyond the absurdity of the statement I was amazed that he didn't seem to remember that I used to BE a boy!

Sargon III on the Commodore 64
Eric and I kept track of hundreds of games played over
the years, but we always kept track in our heads, so we
always 'remembered' that the other was behind in wins.

It is interesting how it was presented that logical thinking and social skills were unrelated in the realm of human behaviour. He may be right. I know that as a kid I certainly spent a lot more time with a chess set than with dolls. I show questionable social skills all the time, but at least I won all three games of chess last night. Maybe he was just poor at chess, I don't know. I do know that I had made three dates with this same man, and it seems like his game was weak in that area too. Logical thinking and demonstrating social skills may be unrelated abilities, but when it comes to dating you need both. No matter how logical and strategic you may be, to date without social skills is like playing chess without the queen.


Gregg said...

Sarah- I have to say that you date sounds like an insensitive lout. I can't figure out why you gave him 3 chances when, in my humble opinion, he blew it on the first :-) -Gregg

Sarah J M said...

Well I don't really know. If I think about it, maybe everyone should get three chances. I've messed up my fair share and sometimes it would just be really nice to try again.

Anonymous said...

Yep, that is one Grade A Asshole.

Sarah J M said...

No, he was nice. A very pleasant guy - just not for me.