Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Lowest Common Denominator: You know who he is
So, I was checking out the blog of someone I used to know. I was just curious about what he wrote about me. I was actually quite shocked to see that he not only wrote about me in such a rude way, but he rewrote events to put me in a terrible light. I mean, I wrote him to say that we have been friends for too long to let things come between us,and that we should talk, but the version of events on his blog is that I wrote to tell him that I was better than him. My friends tell me that I should just get it through my head that he isn't worth thinking about, but it makes me sad to lose friends - especially friends of over 25 years. As a result I have been thinking about him a lot. As I read through his blog there was this hidden theme about who was not 'better than' him from goth's to his exgirlfriend of 14 months ago. He made note to all readers that he is better than her. I got this picture in my head that it probably isn't so much his own reaction to my transgenderism that drove him away as it is that he is so concerned about how other people would react to him being friends with a transgender woman. I think he is so worried about giving anyone a reason to think that he is not better than them that he thinks it is safest for his image to take the lowest common denominator approach and make fun of me, call me names and make up stories. The common denominator approach is pretty scary because people generally do not want to stick out, so they go along with the group rather than say what they truly believe. I wonder sometimes how fast a more positive reaction would propogate if someone just spoke their mind simply because once someone has spoken up it is easier to speak up yourself. In my heart I believe that my exfriend isn't the ass he sounds like on his blog or the ass that he is when we talk to each other. I think he just has a complicated issue where he can't lose face by accepting me, but he also can't lose face by not accepting me either, so he ends up misreporting events to make me sound like I am psycho as well as transgendered. Well, I guess I am sad I lost this guy as a friend so maybe I am psycho. Just jokes - I think my only insanity lies in my gender identity, missing my friend is just normal.
Posted by Sarah J M at 9:08 AM