So this is a brief history....
In December my roommate Curtis said that he didn't like to see bath products in the bathroom... said they made him uncomfortable. A couple months after that I left a green bath sponge (that he calls a poof) out hanging on the faucet to dry. I did this a few times, and I would go back and put it in the cupboard later, but this particular night I fell asleep before I could put it away. The next morning I found it thrown into the corner of the bathroom. Curtis was obviously disgusted... which is weird because it is a thing that holds soap... it is cleaner than he is. Anyway, I was very angry over the reaction I imagined so I threw all his stuff in the corner of the bathroom. What kind of tantrum was he throwing anyway. I asked him later and he said "as if I want to touch your.... poof". The disgust in his voice was evident.
...and now to present day minus 1...
So the other night I did it again. I left the sponge on the faucet and he 'retaliated' by putting the the sponge in the sink and hanging his underwear off the faucet. I was hoping this was a joke, so I left a WHITE sponge out and some shave gel as my own escalation of the joke - I know, shave gel in the bathroom? OMG what a bitch I am. Anyway, I emailed him later and tried to let him know that I wanted to talk. Well as usual he would not talk. That night I said "Hey you read that email I sent?" "Nope" "Why not?" "Busy"
One word replies = annoyed in any language. I though, get annoyed when people refuse to talk about what is bugging them so I pushed. I wasn't about to go another 5 months afraid of leaving out bath products. I figured it would be easier for him to talk over ICQ so I told him that, and said I would log onto ICQ right then and now. An hour later when he hadn't logged in I gave up. I sent him the 'coming out' letters I had sent to various friends, my mom and my employers. I had hoped that I could make him understand SOMETHING, but apparently (if he even read hte letters - I highly doubt he did) he decided to hold onto ignorance and intolerance. Intolerance is the exact word for it too - bath products?? What an offense! I should go to jail! Maybe the fucker shouldn't be so intolerant with the person whose credit he is ruining by not paying his bills in four months.
...now to today...
I went out to the kitchen and Curtis was bagging garbage so I helped out. We chatted pleasantly. Apparently Curtis made some awesome garlic cheese buns the other night. We also discovered we were out of garbage bags. I asked if he needed the bathroom, for I needed a shower. He said 'No, already done.' So in I went and I was reminded that I had left that stuff out and yay it was unmolested. I thought maybe the stuff I had sent the previous night might have helped. I thought maybe he is trying to understand! I thought maybe finally the faith I had in my friend Curtis would *finally* be rewarded! I showered for 15 minutes thinking that I was glad I had sent those emails. I was thinking maybe I can finally LIVE in my own home rather than hide in it! I was quite happy when I came back to my room. I dried my hair and got dressed. Then I checked my email and I found an email from Curtis saying that if I can't put my stuff away for his comfort, then he might just have to smoke in the apartment, because the only reason he goes outside is for my comfort. He said that I have been pushing the bathroom thing for weeks, and a good roommate should know when to make small sacrifices. I read in disbelief that he had sent it 34 minutes earlier! That means he had already sent it when we were pleasantly chatting. What a chicken! He can't even mention it in person??! What a disappointment!
So I figured if my obvious plea for understanding was not enough, my practical begging for a conversation went unanswered, that Curtis is not willing to do anything for me. It was plain to see that Curtis thinks less of me as a person and a friend than I thought. I mean for god's sake - the letters I had sent him earlier... they revealed that I was considering suicide before I ever considered coming out as transgender. You'd think a person would consider THAT level of discomfort in EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE before they selfishly put their own INCREDIBLY INSENSITIVE, INSECURE AND COMPLETELY INNANE discomfort. Have I mentioned it was bath products he is upset about? Well anyway, so I went to his room said "I'm out. I'm moving" then a few seconds later I said "no, I changed my mind, I am not leaving but you can." and I closed my door.
He called me selfish, so I went out to confront that. I let him know that it is he who is selfish, because he will not talk to me, he will not bother to learn, he will not even try to understand. He turns down every effort I have made. In fact he has no idea what I have shielded him from in the past few months. He is worried about bath products? Fuck- I wear makeup and bras to work and I certainly hid that from him to spare his comfort. I reiterated that he is the selfish one, and he took what I am sure he considers the high road by saying he can accept the blame. People only take the high road in a confrontation because to them it is forcing you onto the low road. He can accept the blame though because in this situation accepting blame is not like he was facing up to his shortcomings and developing his character by owning up to a flaw in behaviour, in fact by accepting the blame he is only admitting that he is being intolerant and that he is refusing to do what it right for a friend. The conversation ended with me saying that if bath products upset him that much, then he can't handle anything the future has to bring. So he said then it is a good idea that he leave.
So much for friendship.
The funny thing is, Curtis mentioned that he hopes I can get used to losing friends yet 20 minutes after I closed the door on Curtis I had both a new roommate or a new apartment lined up. Now my only trouble is deciding which to go for.